Let's Not
by Molten-Ashes
Summary: A selection of single chapter drabbles of what the Twins SHOULDN'T do in their spare time aboard the ARK, but do anyway...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers!

Please R&R!

(A selection of drabbles that state what the Twins shouldn't do in their spare time aboard the ARK... Enjoy! Other Multichapter fics will be updated soon!)

* * *

><p><em><strong>Let's Not … <strong>_

_**(1) Prank Skyfire- **_

_**He can be surprisingly dangerous and downright lethal to those who declare (and paint) him as a Taxi…**_

* * *

><p>"Shouldn't we help them?" Jazz asked worriedly as he watched the large shuttle form of Skyfire rumble overhead as the giant mech's tormentors sped by the amused Officers, breaking the local speed limit screaming at the top of their vocalisers.<p>

"I think Skyfire has it covered," Prowl replied blandly taking a sip of his morning energon which he just remembered was in his hand. He and the rest of the command staff having rushed from the ARK weapons drawn at the first screams. "Permission to point and laugh, Sir?" the SIC asked the amused Optimus standing with his arms folded across his chest plates watching the scene.

"Granted" the Matrix barer grinned behind his mask as Ratchet's optics were lit with a carnal glee, freely laughing at the two fleeing red and gold Lamborghini's under the shadow of the giant shuttle that bore down on them like a living Apocalypse.

Prowl promptly let a broad smile spread across his faceplate as he shut off his logic and battle computer, before he too dissolved into laughter as the agitated form of his friend fretted beside him. "Optimus!" Jazz chided wringing his servos as Skyfire buzzed the two Lamborghini's before swinging around for another run at them, the distinct cry of 'I'm too pretty to die!' heard from Sunstreaker in the distance. "Skyfire is going to kill them! They painted him up like a New York Taxi!"

"Skyfire is a peaceful mech by nature Jazz" Optimus reassured waving off his TIC as Red Alert snorted his own amusement by the giggling Inferno and Ironhide. "He won't do too much damage…"

The nearby abandoned outpost built by the human military went up in a mushroom cloud of fire and smoke.

"I'm retracting that statement" Optimus said with a flinch as an old, out mode helicopter rotor speared the ground next to him, the other parts of the abandoned aircraft that had been left on the base two miles away falling like lethal shooting stars around the gathered officers.

"I didn't know Skyfire packed that much fire power" Ironhide whistled impressed nodding his helm in approval as Wheeljack silently held up his laminated card scoring set with a perfect Cybertronian equivalent of a ten drawn across the front. "I agree 'Jack, definitely a ten"

"I'll get Bluestreak to call Elita and Ultra Magnus to send replacement front liners" Prowl said stoically dodging a flaming piece of helicopter armour taking out his spare data-pad and making a memo. "I'm sure as hell not explaining to them why we suddenly lost two of our most lethal warriors to their own stupidity"

"Autobots" Optimus rumbled pointing towards the horizon where Skyfire and his quarry were seen going in the direction of the Nemesis. "Roll out and save those Lamborghini's!"

_**===A mile from the Nemesis=== **_

"Get back here you single cell brained …" Skyfire ranted down at the Twins fleeing from his shadow, both siblings thanking Primus the giant shuttle could only go so fast out of zero gravity.

"I hate you Sides," Sunstreaker groaned as they avoided another laser blast barely missing their hoods and throwing up grit, dust and sand over their windshields. "I demand a better death, than deactivation by enraged pacifist"

"I'm sorry!" the ruby twin whined swerving dangerously as they came across the coastal road, their luck seeming to run out as Starscream and his Trine rose to confront them from lounging on the cliff, null rays charged and glowing with energy.

"What are you doing here Autob…" Starscream never got to finish his exclamation as Skyfire dropped from the glare of the sun, a startling bright yellow chequered with white and black squares, diving down onto the two cars that were gunning their engines past the bewildered trine.

"Back off Starscream! These pit spawns are MINE!" the shuttle practically roared as the lambos sped by, whimpering over the comm. link for somebody, anybody, to save them from the usually kind and gentle mech.

The SIC of the Decepticon's watched Skyfire harass the two troublesome front liners before grinning to his stupefied trine mates as an Autobot squad rolled down the road after the faint forms of the shuttle and his targets in the distance "Skyfire's gone evil? I think I'm in love!"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers!

Please R&R!

(More antics from the Twins, and Prowl shows his creative side when making up punishments... enjoy!)

* * *

><p><em><strong>Let's Not… <strong>_

_**(2) Ignore Prowl's perfectly planned plan- **_

_**It annoys the slag out of him and he just might do horrible things in return… **_

* * *

><p>"You gotta admit Prowler," Jazz smiled cheerfully as he followed the sulking SIC down the ARK hallway, bobbing his helm to a funky rock tune "It was funny."<p>

"Jazz, your definition of funny clearly differs from mine." Prowl replied, his usually stoic faceplates twisted into a furious scowl, his fingers jabbing at the touch screen of his data-pad gripped firmly in his other servo. "I had that plan drawn up in record time, it was perfect!"

"Sides and Sunny have no regard for the rules or your plans Prowl." Jazz shrugged as they reached the fuming ex-enforcer's office "I hate to say it mech but that is rule number one in the 'How to deal with Twins manual'."

"There's a manual?" Prowl asked mentally making a note to either purchase or steal a copy, depending on what type of rush he was in.

"Ratchet wrote it." his saboteur friend giggled in return flopping onto the visitor chair "Though I love the punishment you gave them. It was… surprisingly creative, for a bot like you."

"Devious creativity is another of my boundless talents, Jazz." Prowl said his expression lightening; his engine soothed from its loud angry snarl into a smug purr "I trust you have warned anybody off of helping them?"

"Would I do that to you in your moment of glory?" Jazz grinned visor flashing mysteriously before leaning forward conspicuously "I trust I'll be getting a present in my inbox later this evening?"

"Routine blackmail file will be sent to me by Red Alert first" Prowl nodded his faceplate twitching into a smile "I can… make a few arrangements so that is drops by you before it gets sent to the archive..."

"Prowler, Prowler, Prowler," Jazz smiled leaning back in the chair as the SIC returned to his work that had piled up in his inbox. "I love you when you're devious."

_**===Outside the ARK, Tallest Tree in the Forest=== **_

"When I get my hands on that fragging Datsun, I'll tear him limb from limb!" Sunstreaker snarled from where he was struggling against a set of chains that bound him by his wrist plating to the tallest tree in the woods, his pedes shuffling as a branch groaned under the golden foot "Sideswipe! Are you down yet?"

"No!" his brother called up to him from where he was dangling by his pedes halfway down the trunk, branches, leaves and twigs caught in his joints "I've got one more riddle to solve!"

Prowl, being the great mind player that he was had somehow knocked them out, probably with assistance from Ratchet and a wrench, had strung them up by their pedes and servos to the biggest tree he could find.

In order to get down to the ground, the locks holding them to the tree would spew out a riddle which they had to solve in order for the lock to break off.

Sideswipe, in a fit of surprising genius had solved Sunstreaker's pede chain riddle, the links of Cybertanium metal slithering down the branches to coil neatly on the ground some thirty feet below. Unfortunately, Sideswipe had also solved his servo chain riddle as well causing the alarmed ruby twin to swing forward and slam faceplate first into the tree trunk as the pede chains halted him from reaching the ground.

"There is one word that stands the test of time and holds fast to the centre of everything. Though everyone will try at least once in their life to move around this word, but in fact, unknowingly, they use it every moment of the day. Young or old, awake or in sleep, human or animal, this word stands fast. It belongs to everyone, to all living things, but no one can master it. The word is?" the lock chirped as Sideswipe clambered up his own leg to press the button upon the fancy lock.

"Any bright idea's bro?" Sideswipe asked flopping back to hang upside down, spotting a suspicious looking perimeter camera pointed at him. "The slaggers are filming this!" he growled offering his middle finger to the camera that continued to silently record their progress down the tree.

"I don't know," the golden twin grumbled puffing a leaf away from his face as it flopped into his faceplate, watching it flutter to the ground "Gravity?"

"Correct!" the lock chirped before snapping, freeing the red twin's pedes just as Sideswipe let go of the tree to make a face at the camera which a grinning Red Alert was watching through in the Security Room.

With a yelp and a clang, Sideswipe felt the full force of the riddle's answer, and the ground, on his helm.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers

Please R&R

(More Twin antics, more Sideswipe than Sunny this time. enjoy!)

* * *

><p><em><strong>Let's Not… <strong>_

_**(3) Fritz Red Alert while Inferno is feeling mischievous… **_

_**Inferno and Tracks have surprisingly good connections with the human criminal world… **_

* * *

><p>"Come on Red…" Inferno sighed as the Security Room door hissed open and a grinning Sideswipe strolled in, complete with his Twin following sullenly behind him "I'll only be gone for two breems maximum!"<p>

"You can't leave me with them!" the red and white security Director wailed abandoning his cameras to cling to the fire truck like a barnacle. "They'll kill me, my paranoia chips can't handle it!"

Inferno sighed patting the whining mech on the helm gently easing the distraught Lamborghini back into his favourite surveillance chair "You'll be fine." the large mech soothed, his friend's desperate blue optics on him every inch of the way towards the door "I'm only going to get some energon, I promise."

With that the door hissed closed shielding the fire truck from the distressed paranoid mech who's gaze immediately snapped to the broadly smiling Sideswipe and his Twin who was sitting sulking in the corner doodling on his data-pad. "You shall sit and be silent until Inferno gets back. Then get out." Red Alert instructed, looking ready to spit acid as he swivelled on his chair and trained his optics on the broad bank of flickering screens.

_**This is going to be great,**_Sideswipe thought grinning like a lunatic obediently keeping silent as Red Alert immersed himself back into scanning the screens intently. _**Five, Four, Three, Two… One!**_

As Red Alert's intense focus came to a stop on the Rec-Room camera feed leaning forward with a frown to view the poker game Smokescreen was currently heading, the screen was enveloped by a human femme screaming like a banshee, dressed like the human undead. The startled Security Director gave a shrill scream physically pushing himself away from the screens and toppling backwards off his chair, his helm horns crackling a terrified blue as he scrambled away along the floor from the screens to wrap himself around an entering Inferno who was cheerfully talking to a stoic looking Prowl as he chauffeured the desired ration of energon to the Security Room.

"Red!" the fire truck yelped as the red and white Lamborghini tackled him, clinging to his chest plates wildly babbling a mile a minute about the 'human undead that are rising to kill us all!'.

Prowl peered into the room, his cold blue gaze fixing onto the innocently whistling Sideswipe as his golden twin ignored him still sketching away on his pad. "You two… Brig. Now."

"What!" Sunstreaker cried finally looking up from his intense 'artist trance' "What did I do!" the front liner looked over at the screens where the clip was cycling on repeat "And what the pit did you do?" he snarled turning on his too innocent looking sibling.

"You, Sideswipe, are going into the brig for pranking." Prowl replied rolling his optics "As usual. You Sunstreaker, are going into the brig for drawing your superior officers in compromising positions."

"But, but!" the frustrated twin whined as his ruby brother practically skipped out the door, cheerfully waving to a struggling Inferno who as still attempting to calm down his friend over the clip.

"I'll take that drawing, if you please," Prowl said blandly holding his servo out for the data-pad that had the very… detailed… drawing of himself and Jazz having some 'alone time'.

Grumbling, the golden mech slapped the pad into the SIC's servo and stomped off after his twin.

_**=== Evening===**_

"I trust you are the mech to come to about somebot that needs taking care of?" the large red mech asked swirling some energon around his cube.

"That would be correct." the blue mech replied blue optics illuminating a ruby faceplate. "Who's the bot?"

"Bot's actually," the larger mech said lowly as the black and white TIC trotted past, grinning happily, holding a data-pad with a compromising drawing of himself and Prowl in a storage closet. "Sideswipe and Sunstreaker."

"Ah," the mech smiled coyly draining the last of his energon "I'll see what I can do…"

_**===Middle of the Daily Patrol= Next Day=== **_

"I don't believe this!" Suntreaker snarled as a human busily spray painted some graffiti on his chassis, internally struggling against the disruptor that had been placed on the underside of his and his twins' Alt Mode as they stopped at a set of traffic lights and carted off into the shadier part of town, preventing him from transforming and squashing the human that was dressed up like a zombie, currently daring to repaint him with the neon pink he was currently spraying on his doors. "Whoever put this disruptor on me is toast!"

"You think you've got it bad?" Sideswipe whined in fright as some human yobs also dressed like demons and zombies scrambled over his roof figuring out how to get the valuable looking CD player inside. "They're going to yank out my radio!"

_**===Back at the ARK===**_

"I trust you understand the risks I'm taking, blocking their distress beacons" Blaster said lounging in the Communications Chair as Inferno and Tracks stood on either side of the consol "If Prowl or any of the higher ups finds out about this, I'm going to get demoted…"

"Relax Blaster" Tracks assured with a pleased purr checking the tips of his fingers as if he had nails "Raoul said his buddies wouldn't ruffle them up too much. Plus, it was authorised… Kind of... Inferno managed to get Red Alert to sign the data-pad our plan was written on while he was still freaking out over that internet clip."

"After all, even if we do get caught…" the fire truck grinned "They started it."

* * *

><p>AN: This is actually based on a real experience. My friend sent me a link and that clip popped up, I fell off my chair and hit my head off my wardrobe door, screaming all the while. My parents thought something was on fire... -_-'


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't Own Transformers!

Please R&R!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Let's Not... <strong>_

_**(4) Cuddle Bluestreak in public. It might not be him...**_

* * *

><p>"One to the left, the other is straight ahead" Sunstreaker whispered over the communication link peering into the room where his target was standing chatting.<p>

"Good" Sideswipe replied shuffling into the room unnoticed by the other ARK residents as he crept around the two targets, systems running quietly as he stalked into position.

"Ready?" the golden twin asked, crouching to charge at his prey.

"On three" Sideswipe nodded from his shaded corner, making a frantic quiet motion as Jazz spotted him. "One, Two… Two and a half… Sunny?"

"What?" the front liner snapped over the private communication line "Say three already!"

"Two and three quarters…" Sideswipe said skittishly as Jazz suddenly made a panicked stop motion as he twigged onto what they were about to do to the innocently chatting Bluestreak, who was quietly discussing something with a similarly oblivious Smokescreen. "Three!"

"Twin hug!" Sideswipe shouted as both twins pounced onto the grey Praxian with a war cry.

Every mech and his drinking buddy jumped in their chairs or in Cliffjumper's case falling off backwards choking on his afternoon energon as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe tackled Bluestreak with a startled yelp coming from the gunner.

"We got you Blue!" Sideswipe crowed proudly at their favourite gunner sandwiched between them.

"How so?" came an amused innocent voice from… behind them?

Both front liners turned their helms to see the grinning form of Bluestreak standing with Bumblebee at the entrance to the Rec-Room holding a stack of data-pads, both younger mechs snickering at the now bewildered Twins.

"Then… who do we have?" Sunstreaker asked looking down at their captured friend only for his last sight of the day to be a grey fist slamming into his faceplates.

Sideswipe squealed as his pede was stomped on and leapt away cursing up a storm as the unknown bot snarled at the still online twin as Sunstreaker's offline frame tumbled to the floor.

"And just WHAT do you think you're doing?" Prowl snarled stamping a pede, his faceplate contorted in rage, his usually black and white paint scheme a thunderous storm grey.

"You're not Bluestreak!" Sideswipe cried pointing at the furious SIC that flared his wings into a sharp 'v' of annoyance as the red and ebony front liner hopped around the Rec-Room trying to soothe his aching pede.

"Your powers of observation are astounding" Prowl snarked dryly as Bluestreak trotted to his mentors side with a cheeky smile, both looking like mirror images, the only difference between them Prowl's pointier chevron and muderous scowl.

"Prowl was undercover in the Decepticon base." the actual Bluestreak chatted as if Sunstreaker wasn't sprawled on the floor obviously in need of a medic. "He just got back and is waiting for a repaint!"

"We ran out of Black and white paint." Jazz pouted from where he was admiring Prowl's angry puffed up form, _mentally_ comparing the SIC to a bird that was fluffing up its feathers in agitation, less he also end up with a dent the size of Prowl's fist in his faceplate like the golden Twin on the floor currently sported. "Prowl isn't quite innocent and chatty enough to carry off his Bluestreak disguise."

The grey gunner chirred in amusement as Prowl's icy glare remained pinned on the now cringing Sideswipe, the claws that the SIC still sported from his disguise suddenly pointing at the golden mech in front of him.

"Him, Medbay. You. Collect Mr. Bucket and Mrs. Mop from the storage cupboard, clean the Brig and then put yourself in it!" the tactician growled, optics flaring almost white as he barked out his orders and the Twin's punishment.

"Aww, not Mrs. Mop!" the front liner whined as he grabbed his brother by the arms and began to drag Sunstreaker out of the Rec-Room the bots within snickering every pedestep of the way "I hate Mrs. Mop!"

"Would you prefer, Miss. Toothbrush instead?"


	5. Chapter 5

Discaimer: I don't own Transformers

Please R&R!

(More Crack. Enjoy!)

* * *

><p><em><strong>Let's Not… <strong>_

_**(5) Put a Hologram on Omega Supreme… **_

_**The Human Military doesn't appreciate the scare… **_

* * *

><p>"Sideswipe!" the roar echoed through the base, the source of the particularly loud scream that had made Bluestreak jump in the Rec-Room, tossing his energon all over Sunstreaker's lap and faceplate as the golden mech leaned in for a kiss, emanated from the one and only SIC's beloved office. "Get in here this instant!"<p>

The red and ebony warrior, named Sideswipe cringed and sunk lower in his seat in the Rec-Room beside his brother, "Do you think he's mad?"

"Wouldn't you be if the human military were camping outside because of your prank?" Smokescreen snickered from his table where an irate Ratchet and a charred looking Wheeljack were bickering over whether the engineer come inventor would be able to hold the playing cards in his hands without them blowing up.

"Indeed." Ironhide grunted pointing at the door with a cannon, "Hell is in that direction. Have a good day."

"What?" the prankster wailed as an energon covered Sunstreaker shoved him off his chair and towards the door. "But Prowl wouldn't kill me! He likes me! I keep the base happy cheery!"

"No that's what Jazz is for. You're an added annoyance." Mirage said casually as he sipped a cube of energon beside a chattering Hound and Trailbreaker, both nature enthusiasts trying to decode the basic language of the native squirrel population.

"Sideswipe!" Prowl's enraged holler echoed once more, ringing and echoing along the orange corridors as well as down the public tannoy system, "Where are you, you useless piece of cannon fodder?"

"My point exactly." The Noble mech said smugly as the warrior Twin's faceplates paled as his sibling finally shoved him out into the corridor.

"Mech up and go see what he wants." Sunstreaker grunted as his twin clung to him like a limpet, finally managing to pry his brother off him after Bluestreak intervened with a crowbar. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, we'll have a nice funeral for you afterwards."

His helm hanging low and looking pathetically dejected, Sideswipe trotted off to his doom.

The corridor that held the Officer's offices was empty. Not a sound blossomed in the corridor as the frontline warrior crept towards the fabled 'Door of Hell' that resided innocently to the left of the Command Hub. Coincidently, Optimus' door was on the right and was nicknamed 'Door of Forgiveness' by the resident pranksters of the ARK, Optimus was a pushover when you hit him with a good impersonation of Bluestreak's puppy optics.

Meching up like his brother recommended, Sideswipe knocked on the 'Door of Hell' and plastered his trademark grin on his faceplate as the door ominously hissed open.

"Get in here and wipe that goofy smile off your face." The icy hiss came from within the almost pitch black office which was lit by a desk lamp that illuminated a data-pad, a discarded stylus and the clenched fists of one very pissed off Praxian SIC.

Entering hell, Sideswipe resigned himself to his fate.

_**==A week Later==**_

"Do I really need to say it?" Sunstreaker asked as he handed his brother another tool as he dug around in a scowling Omega Supreme's ankle innards searching for a little irritation that had started the whole fiasco. "And don't be sarcastic. I'm helping out of the goodness of my own spark you know." He said with a glower as his Twin cockily opened his mouth.

"Yeah, yeah, kick a mech while he's down." Sideswipe grumbled back, withdrawing half a sapling with a look of disgust from the ankle joint on his quest to find his hologram emitter. "So making a hologram of Godzilla and putting it on Omega wasn't the best idea I've ever had. To be fair, you should have seen the human's reactions, it was fragging funny."

Dutifully smacking his twin over the helm with the tool he was holding, Sunstreaker sighed, "But the human military nearly marched on the ARK had Prowl not convinced them that it was a hologram and our 'Godzilla' meant no harm."

"How was I supposed to know humans freak out if their Science fiction movies come to life?" the red and ebony twin pouted sulkily as he finally fished out his holo-transmitter. "How's that feel Omega?" he called up to the gargantuan Autobot as the Godzilla appearance that glowered down at them fizzled out back into the familiar shape of the mech's helm.

"Much better." The Space faring mech said with a scowl, "Sideswipe. Return to duties now per Officer Prowl's orders."

"Yep." Sideswipe sighed picking up what once was one of Sunstreaker's detail brushes and dipped it into the yellowish/orange paint bucket that his brother held up for him and picking up where he left off, repainting the entirety of the giant Autobot pede to helm…


End file.
